


For the Strength of Youth

by Sangerin



Category: Big Love
Genre: Community: femslash07, F/F, Femslash, University
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-03-12
Updated: 2007-03-12
Packaged: 2017-11-25 05:12:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/635474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sangerin/pseuds/Sangerin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sarah and Heather from sixteen to twenty-two.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For the Strength of Youth

**Author's Note:**

  * For [soundingsea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/soundingsea/gifts).



_Sixteen_

The thing about Heather is her confidence in the future. High school, four-year college program that would be perfect timing to go on a Mission as soon as she turned twenty-one. Then grad school and marriage and babies and volunteering for Harry Reid's campaign.

At sixteen years old, Sarah feels confused about everything. About her family, about her future; about whether to stay in Utah for college or to move far, far away from the craziness and chaos and confusion that is her family. About exactly who her family is. It's been seven years since Dad brought Nicki home, and it still makes no sense to her. Kids at school have issues with the realisation that their parents are still having sex: how do you deal with the idea of your father having sex with other women? Deal with the slightly wistful look on your mother's face that she tries so very hard to hide. Live with the spectre of the compound hiding behind Nicki's every reference to her father or "home", and the idea of Rhonda, married to Nicki's father as wife number who knows how many… has Rhonda grown up so differently that she doesn't see how wrong it all is?

Add to all that trying to navigate a friendship with a good little Mormon girl, and life isn't easy. Not to say that Heather ever made a point of being a good little Mormon girl. It was just that she was so… _certain_.

 

_Seventeen_

At seventeen, Heather is in a quandary. At least one, possibly more. She doesn't know which college to choose – although Brigham Young University is the obvious choice, there's something about it that seems limiting, especially if she wants to challenge the Mormon stereotype. And there are a couple of BYU graduates in her ward who are encouraging her to go out-of-state, which probably says something about BYU. Mr Green even said that she was too intelligent, and he didn't seem to mean that in a mean way – not the way other men, other girls' fathers seemed to mean it.

Of course, the other quandary is Sarah. She still hasn't decided whether to stay or go, although she'll go to USU if she stays. She's so dismissive of everything LDS, and Heather can't blame her for that. Not with her family. But although Sarah never makes Mormon jokes and tries hard not to ridicule religion – at least in Heather's hearing – sometimes comments slip out, and Sarah's disdain for Heather's faith hits Heather square in the gut. Because what Sarah thinks _matters_ to Heather, more, maybe than what anyone else thinks.

If Sarah stays in Utah, Heather's not going to want to leave. If they were both escaping, it would be different, although at least this way, when Heather comes home to visit, Sarah will still be here. Which, sometimes, is all Heather cares about. It's too easy to lose touch, even with email and MSN and Skype, it's still too easy to stop thinking about other people, especially if thinking about them hurts too bad, and thinking about Sarah can hurt a lot, Heather has learned.

All of which just makes Heather wish harder that she could go on her mission at eighteen, like the boys. Instead, she has to wait until she's twenty-one, for no good reason expect for the lack of a y-chromosome, and although many things suck about the LDS church (not that Heather would admit any of them aloud) this is what sucks the most. Because Heather is placing a lot of stock in her mission. She has questions she wants answered, and can't work out how else to answer them but to have a year away from everything – and everyone – to try to answer them. But because she's not a boy, she has to wait three more years.

And even though Sarah hates the LDS Church and most if not all of what it stands for, she complains along with Heather about how unfair it all is, and Heather loves her for it.

 

_Twenty-one_

At twenty-one, they're – maybe miraculously – still friends. It's Heather who got Sarah through multiple crises at home, who never batted an eyelid when Sarah turned up at Heather's school one weekend without a word of warning. But now they're facing the real test, because Heather – good little Mormon girl Heather – is going away on her mission, and leaving Sarah without any contact for a year. Good little reluctant-polygamist girl at home with brothers and sisters – but mostly brothers – who never seem to grow up; her mom's two sister-wives (and no, Margene didn't seem to ever grow up, either).

Sarah has added to her list of grievances against Mormons: Missions. It's not that she didn't know this was coming – Heather's only been talking about it since they were both sixteen. But it’s the lack of contact, and the knowledge of how hard that's going to be, and Sarah's own, secret realisations, that make Heather's Missionary Farewell almost impossible to get through. Until Heather catches Sarah's hand and pulls her away into a corner, and whispers:

"I can't promise anything – I can't even think about it. But Sarah, just… just give me this year. Okay?"

Although Sarah barely understands what Heather said, she spends various odd moments over the next twelve months coming up with various interpretations, good and bad.

_Twenty-two_

She's made her decision when she gets home, but she waits two weeks before she seeks out Sarah. Because once it's said it's _said_ , and she won't be able to take it back. Finally she calls the number her parents have for Sarah – a new one that Heather doesn't recognise – and arranges to meet up at a juice bar in town. Sarah's at grad school, still at USU, so she's got the time to take.

Heather is nervous as she waits for Sarah. A year is by far the longest time they've ever gone without seeing each other, talking to each other. But when Sarah rounds the corner and Heather sees her, somehow it doesn't matter anymore, and Heather springs up to hug Sarah tight.

"Hey, girl," says Sarah. "You are so _tanned_!"

"That's what happens in Guatemala," Heather replies. She's impatient while Sarah gets a juice and sits down, and once Sarah is there, sitting across from her, Heather's nervous and doesn't know how to speak.

So she takes a deep breath, and doesn't look at Sarah, and just talks. "Do you remember, at my farewell, I asked if you'd wait, if you'd give me a year? Gosh, this is hard to say. I've got no idea how you feel about me, and you know this is just… completely against every single thing I was told when I was growing up, but, Sarah…" which as far as she gets before Sarah puts a hand over hers and leans in to kiss her quickly. They're still in the middle of Salt Lake City, after all.

"Thank God," says Sarah. "I think I would have died this year if I hadn't thought that you just might…" she stops. "What about the church, Heather? It means so much to you."

"I don't know. I still believe, I still have a testimony. It's just… one that the Prophet wouldn't like so much."

"You know," said Sarah, "there's the Community of Christ… " Suddenly Sarah looks shy. "I did a little research while you were away."

"Let me think about it. For now - _just_ for now, you're enough… as long as I do have you?"

Sarah smiles, and suddenly Heather's world is a little bit brighter. "Of course you do. You always did."


End file.
